Ep 061: A few months back, one of our clients that we work with in our practice lost her husband after sudden cognitive decline. It was terrible, but also now, she, the spouse has been completely lost. She is trying to figure out her place in the world and has expressed to us that taking on everything her husband did is leaving her continually overwhelmed. She's questioned, how is it possible to find out who she is without her husband? The majority of her adult life has been made up of being in this relationship with someone she loves more than anything.
So how common is this occurrence of losing our spouse? According to US Census numbers, 40% of women and 13% of men aged 65 or older have lost their spouses. Our next guest is a lifelong New Yorker and entrepreneur who loves music, art, travel, and adventures. Her husband, David, and she were together 25 years, married for 20 of them. On October 12th, 2015, he was diagnosed with Stage 4 pancreatic cancer – life expectancy, 6 weeks to 4 months. Together, they learned to live fearlessly in the face of death itself.
Saturday, September 10th, 2016, without pain or fear, David took his last four breaths, and she was a widow. What did it mean to be a widow, though? It’s impossible to prepare for such a loss. She was isolated and lonely but could not find resources to solve how to reconnect, get back to work and open up to love again - so she created them. She began BadWidow.com and it resonated with people who had suffered a loss too. Our guest is now a grief resilience coach, #1 bestselling author on Amazon, global speaker, and Affluence Code® consultant. Her recently published #1 bestselling book, The Bad Widow Guide to Life After Loss: Moving Through Grief to Live and Love Again is now available on Amazon, and she also has a free 3-video mini-series supplement to her book and ongoing grief resilience tips. Please welcome Alison Pena to The Retirement Success in Maine Podcast!
Chapters:
Welcome, Alison Pena! [3:14]
Why does Alison call herself a Bad Widow? [14:35]
What did Alison learn about living fearlessly as David was fighting his cancer? [20:40]
How can we handle depression, fear, anger, grief, etc., after suffering the loss of a spouse? [26:49]
What steps did Alison take to rejoin life again after she lost her husband? [36:02]
What does it mean to make better distinctions as someone reinvents themselves after a loss? [47:12]
How is Alison going to find her own Retirement Success? [55:42]
Ben and Curtis look back on the conversation. [57:46]
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